Do you believe there are more women today that are interested in spanking/kink than there were in past generations? If so what are the main reasons for the increase? What about men, do you believe the modern world has had a hand in more men becoming dominant or submissive?
Quite a bit deeper topic than we normally have here at the Roundtable, but we think we ended up with a good discussion. We certainly enjoyed it. A big thank you to everyone that took the time to share. Let’s jump right into the Roundtable Wrap-up by taking a look at the Quick Response Poll results.
Why are ~more~ women in today’s modern world interested in spanking, kink and submission?
Guilt free exploration (I’m submissive, so it’s not that *I* want kinky play). ~ 8%
It’s an escape from all the new found power they have. ~ 17%
The internet makes things so-so much easier. ~ 33%
The freedom to decide that comes from earning money. ~ 4%
Society has become more relaxed and accepting. ~ 13%
Something else. ~ 4%
There aren’t “more” women interested in BDSM today than there were years ago. ~ 21%
A wide range of opinions but the easy access the internet offers tops the list. A good number… over 1 in 5… don’t even agree with the premise of the question though. So a real mixed bag here!
We’ll move to this week’s comments and look for some clarity there (good luck!)…
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Autumnred said: This is a really good topic…I think the answer is the internet le
ts us know we’re not alone and women do have more independence and money…Money is power. I don’t like the guilt free exploration part…That rubs me the wrong way. If a woman wants to explore and play in this world and wants to be submissive, she damn well better be powerful enough in herself to only get into submissive experiences that will be ok for her…I only know what allowed me to get into this lifelong fantasy: finally breaking religious barriers, a bit of extra cash and extra time for the first time in my life, finding my own personal power….
~The original article did make the point that real freedom and power is needed to make the decision to explore one’s submissive side. Some feminists make that very point. Of course, others totally disagree. We think you make a good point about religious freedom too. It really wasn’t that long ago that the church had a massive impact on the decisions people made. The idea of exploring kink was out of question because… what would the church think? That largely is not the case in today’s world… though without question, the church still does have that impact on some (your story being a good example).~
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Terri said: Any and/or All of the above. Spanking gone mainstream? You’re not kidding. SO many sh
ows have references to it, its a little scary. But you know, in direct contrast to this theme, what my favourite mainstream spanking reference is? Its off a hospital drama here in Australia, so most of you won’t recognise it…. I think. Anyhow, the two characters are both medical staff. The man, oddy, seems the more submissive of the pair…either that or he’s just an incorrigible flirt….er, actually, it might be option two. This isn’t the first time he’s dared his female ‘boss’ to spank him, or made references to being spanked. (He’s a doctor, she’s the Nurse Unit Manager…anyone who’s going to understand this one already knows who I’m talking about just from that little tidbit!) Anyhow, lines (from the doctor) such as ‘oh yes, time for my spanking!” and “I don’t have a repertoire (sp?) you’ve beaten it out of me” are brilliant. Oh, and this little exchange: “well, so much for me having ‘beaten it out of you’.” “When we get home, hop in!”
Half a season later, the doctor’s character died. I miss him. I had a gigantic crush on him. I think I still harbour it. Anyhow, he’s on my ‘spanky fantasy’ list…. so’s she, weirdly enough….although I never worked out which of them was the submissive.
There’s plenty of spanking references on sitcoms like Frasier and M*A*S*H. I seem to believe a few sitcoms have even actually HAD spanking scenes. Joey (the FRIENDS (sp?) spin off) comes to mind. So does a british sitcom called As Time Goes By, which early in the third season actually has a four swatter. (Well, some folks would see it that way. Others might just call them pats-love or otherwise-but we of a particular persuasion would probably see them as swats)
And now that I’ve derailed this topic, I’ll buzz off so the topic can get back on track.
~We agree that everything mentioned has had some impact. That certainly includes the many references to spanking that come out of the mainstream… that is, adult consensual spanking references. That does make exploring s
panking a lot easier. It’s just not THAT far out there.~
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sixofthebest said: In today’s society, spanking has become less taboo. Plus the internet makes it easier, just like the delightful spanking blog called American Spanking Society.
~Well thank you very much! We do think the spanking blog community does make it easier too… including your fine blog…
~
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Jimmy said: I firmly believe that, as a percentage of the population, women (& men) are not more or less int
o adult consensual spanking then they were many years ago. I do believe that things have gotten a lot easier thanks in part to the internet. I also believe that society has become more & more accepting of different things. For example, years ago, inter-racial relationships were illegal in lots of states. Now, not only is it extremely common, we are talking about legalizing marriage between couples of the same sex. While I don’t equate homosexuality with TTWD, the fact that they are both “outside the mainstream” lends to some comparisons. I don’t like to refer to TTWD as a “kink”. That makes it seem bent or wrong in some way. This is just who we are. Period.
~We too see many things in common between the gay and spanking communities. There was a time that both HAD to be hidden… but as society has matured… it has become much easier.~
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Suzy Says: I think there are probably more women today interested because of the availability (due to the internet) of spanking and kinky things out there.
For some women, like myself, it was an untouched urge that I couldn’t really explain. I got spanked as a child but didn’t have any desire for that at the time so I couldn’t connect it with that. I enjoyed rough playful sex once I starting having sex, but anytime spanking was suggested it seemed either embarrassing or silly, even if both people enjoyed it. It wasn’t a topic openly discussed so it was kept pretty hush hush and done only very rarely.
But since the internet, participating people, lengthy discussions, and plenty of information about spanking can be found so it’s grown a whole new life for me. Without the internet, I most likely would have never met Todd and he was literally the only person in a message board of hundreds of readers/posters who even mentioned adult spanking activities. Hence the immediate attraction
As far as the modern world creating more submissive or more dominant females, I don’t think so. I think your personality is always the way it is and while some things (environment, friendships, life situations) can bring out your traits, you ar
e what you are. I’ve always been attracted to dominant men and I’ve always desired the old fashioned head of household type of relationship, however my submissive side had to be put aside due to life responsibilities until I found Todd to share my life with. My personality is best described as a submissive soul with an independent spirit.
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Todd Says: I do believe there are more people interested in kink today than there were in past generations. It takes ~free time~ to be able to explore kink. Without that, it’s just a passing idea that can’t be acted on. We, as a society, are certainly blessed with lots of free time too.
I think the internet has a pretty massive impact too. I can recall having free time earlier in my life and using it to, say… look the word “spanking” up in the dictionary or search around the ‘bad side of town’ for a spanking magazine (which was close to impossible to find). Today, it’s easy to take that same time and find so-so much more. Merely typing the word “spanking” into a search engine opens up an entire new world. In the past, even if someone had the time and interest to explore kink… they well could have gotten no where.
So time and technology has played a big role in drawing more people to kink.
What kind of kink though, that I don’t know. Are more people being drawn to spanking than other kinks… and further… are more women drawn to the submissive spanking role? It seems that way, but I say that fully realizing that I am far more connected with the spanking world than I am… say… pony play or cock-and-ball torture (or even pony play WITH some cock and ball torture thrown in… lol). For all I know, those fetishes have seen a huge influx of new women. I have seen that the larger BDSM scene has grown. There are new clubs and groups all over the place and lots of newbies checking them out (merely my observation). So I do suspect that it’s not just spanking that has grown.
And then as far as women embracing their submissive side… hmmm… I think the same reasoning can be used to explain why more women are embracing their dominant side. That they’re more at ease with taking that role… that the new power that women hold makes topping less of a taboo for them.
I do believe that more and more people have embraced kink, but where they land in this wide world depends on how they’re wired coming in. Some women are submissive with a hardwired interest in spanking… and that’s exactly where they end up. Other women come into kink with a different mindset and hardwiring and thus they end up elsewhere.
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