We wish you a Happy 4th of July and fun filled holiday weekend. If you want to include some spanking in your weekend… the United States turns 232 years old today, and someone has to step up and take that spanking for her!

*Head Space*

Last week at the Roundtable we talked about the different ‘hard limits’ spankos have.  We’d assumed that most limits would be physically based.  Don’t go beyond a certain pain threshold, no wood paddles, no bruises… things like that.  Turns out though, many of the limits centered more around mental and emotional issues.

Demeaning phrases, anger and uncaring acts were some of the hard limits that spankos listed.  It was clear that many spankos weren’t willing to accept being put in the wrong ‘head space’ during a spanking.  Obviously emotions and mental state of mind are a big deal.

Got us wondering though… what exact emotion is it that spankos most enjoy.  What state of mind are they look for during a spanking?  There are many possibilities.  Feeling submissive, loved, cared for, protected… etc.  While spankers can feel dominant, in control, protecting, giving… etc.  Lots and lots of possibilities!

This week we want to find out what state of mind or ‘head space’ you are most looking for.  As always we warmly invite spankos of all stripes to participate. If you are interested in adult consensual spanking, you are welcome!  So please do share.

Here are a few questions to get the discussion going…

What “head space” do you most enjoy during a spanking?  How often are you able to obtain it?  Do you feel disappointed if you don’t have that feeling during a spanking?

You can leave a comment below, or if you like you can Email us at ToddnSuzy@yahoo.com and we’ll post your thoughts in the Sunday Roundtable Wrap-up.

We also have a Quick Response Poll, and we do invite you to vote in that too.  There are options for spankers and spankees, so more options than usual… though we’re SURE we missed many possibilities still.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

What “head space” (feeling/emotion) do you most enjoy during a spanking? Cared for. Loved. Protected. Submissive. Feeling connected. Dominant. In control. Loving. Protecting. Something else… so I’ll be sure to comment. Current Results

… it’s Japanese candy!  Looks like a fun food for spankos though.  Maybe a little strategically placed red cherry juice could add to the look.  Have a good hump day!

Isn’t it supposed to be easy to lose weight in the summer? The nice weather, the extra exercise… it means good diet news. At least that’s what we hear… because we sure aint seeing it!

We are just getting killed by our road trips. As you might know, it was Alabama to see family this last week. In four days, there were only 3 trips to restaurants, and only 1 of those was fast food. The fast food trip was brutal. A place called Hardee’s and they literally offered nothing even close to healthy. That was tough, but overall going out wasn’t the problem this week.

The killer was good old fashioned southern food. Suzy’s dad and step-mom are both excellent cooks, and they like to show off. No way they cook like that everyday… lol… they’d weigh 500 pounds!

Lots of BBQ and bread. You get stuck too, because what can you say? ‘Thanks but I’ll just have a salad’… lol. Doesn’t really work when someone has spent a couple of hours cooking for you. We did limit our serving size though, and did managed to minimize the damage (some of us more so than others… lol).

Todd was 0.2 pounds for the week, and Suzy was up 1.0 pound. Given that we were both already above our diet lows, it really wasn’t close. So, a spanking for Suzy. This one was ‘big time’ too. A really-really hard spanking.

As for Todd, he got an extra chore. Wasn’t an easy one either. Had to clean the kitchen, top to bottom. Close to a three hour job.

We both have to get back on track here!

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Caryagal: Carye was up slightly last week, and was struggling a little early this week… and it was frustrating her. With two days to go until weigh-in, she threw her arms up in that air and more or less gave up. That decision turned a slight gain into a full extra pound on the scale.
It also turned hubby Papa Shrek into a discipline spanker. Carye got it big time. 16 spanks with the dogging bat. More for the giving up than the gain. Carye tells us her bottom got a little bruised, and was still sore the next day.
Lesson learned though. Carye is back on track and off to a good start. Couldn’t have come at a better time too. Papa Shrek said there is no break from the diet during their coming vacation to West Virginia. Good luck, Carye!

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Elis (from New Beginnings):  PK is back home from Eva’s house (from Nothing Random). She had a great time with her “twin” and is already missing her. Might be that she had a little too good of a time though. Eva is an excellent cook, and PK took advantage… gaining 4 pounds. Yikes… she vacations like we do!
PK figured she was safe though. Or more precisely, her bottom was safe. She and hubby Nick were on the road headed home on weigh-in day. So, that meant an extra week. Well, not quite. Saturday morning Nick woke PK up and marched her to the scale.
A few moments after the bad news was revealed… PK’s bottom was bared and a long session with the hairbrush follow. She tells us she’d gotten her focus back about half way through her spanking. Motivation is high and PK is ready for a good week. btw… shouldn’t Eva get some sort of spanking for feeding her friend so well? Just saying!

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Peaches: Didn’t get an update from Peaches this week. Did hear from her and hubby El Domino though, and they’re both doing well. They are trying to work it out so they can go to the Shadow Lane spanking party in Las Vegas this coming August. We’re really hoping that will work out so we can get the chance to meet.

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Michelle (from Brat Out Of Control): Didn’t get an update from Michelle this week. She’s been doing really well though, and we do hope that continued. We’ll be sure and let you know how she’s doing next week.

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Amber Grey (from Amber’s Spanking Journey):  Amber was zipping along quite nicely on her diet this week. She was sticking to her plan. The diet journal was up to date, good food decisions, plenty of water and lots of exercise. But then… the weekend struck!
Things got really busy for Amber. Besides all the vanilla stuff we all deal with, Amber has a part-time job as a spanking model… and this last weekend there was a big shoot. Amber was kept jumping nonstop and had to eat on the run. It’s tough when the normal routine changes… and even harder when things get busy.
Amber’s bottom has already paid the debt though. She got several spankings this last weekend. Almost double digits, some of which were very hard. She tells us she was still sore a couple of days later. Things are settling back down though, and time for Amber to get back on track. We know she can do it!

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Jean:Jean is finally back home after several weeks out of state visiting family and getting her knee worked on. She’s glad to be able to get back to her normal routine. She did an okay job overall while away, but there were some down times. Also were some issues getting her diabetic testing supplies.
It looks like we’ll be meeting with Jean in two weeks. We look forward to seeing Jean. She’s a good friend and we always have fun spending time with her. Of course, there are some issues we’ll be ‘talking’ with her about. Jean knows she’s earned some spankings, and that those wont be pleasant. She’d like to minimize how much serious talking we have to do… and instead leave more time for the fun stuff.
In order to do that, Jean needs to do a really good job now that’s she’s home. So, lots of motivation for her these next two weeks. We know she can do it too… and are hoping she does.
 
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Dan & Jessica:Jess was down 3.5 pounds last week. She was thrilled about such a great week, but a bit worried about her chances this week. It can be hard to lose after such a great week. Turns out Jess managed to stay the same, and she’s more than happy about that. No reward, but no spanking either. Good enough!
Jess did try to get her rules adjusted this week. Her weigh-in day is Sunday morning, and she wanted to bump that back… so she could “enjoy the weekend.” Hubby Dan was less than enthusiastic about the idea. He did offer a deal though. If Jess can lose for 3 straight weeks, she can adjust the weigh-in day. So, something to aim for!
Speaking of Dan, he had a tough week at the scales. He was up 5 pounds. He did start jogging though, and thinks his body is probably adjusting. Hope so! We wish both Dan and Jess lots of luck this week!

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Pat & Karen:Karen spent this week at her Grandmother’s enjoy family and friends… and cornbread, biscuits and home good home cooking. It’s not a recipe for a good diet week!
Luckily for Karen, there was no weigh-in. She is on the Weight Watchers plan (which Carye has done real well with) and thus only weighs-in at meetings. Hubby Pat understood that wasn’t a possibility with Karen being out of town… so, a week off.
However, there will be a weigh-in next week and Karen will have to answer for it. She really-really wants to earn a reward too. So, she’ll have to be really good this week to make sure grandma’s cornbread doesn’t end coming back to bite her in the butt. We know she can do it!

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Kari:Kari got herself spanked last week in order to get focused back on her goals. The spanking did a lot of good too. She was down 1.6 pounds, got all of her exercise done on time and stayed within her non-diet soda limits. All in all a good week.
However, Kari did mess up on one of her rules. She went over of the amount of sweets she’s allowed… and that earned her a spanking. Some might wonder how fair that is, given the good week she had otherwise. Thing is… sweets are a big reason she needs to lose weight in the first place. They’ve been an issue for her. Plus, she knows the rules and she knew what would happen when she made the decision to go over the allowable amount of sweets.
A spanking diet really does need to be firm. Rules and consequences have be known and predicable. THAT really is the fairest way to do it… and her disciplinarian, Aunt Cindy, is doing a great job being fair!

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Emilie (from Emilie Gets Spanked):Like many of us this summer, Em is on the road with family. Unlike a lot of us though… she’s managing to stick to her diet though. Not big loss to report, but anything below a gain while on vacation is well worth a nice reward. Good job, Em!
Speaking of rewards, Em tells us she is all caught up. Must mean she’s having fun on her trip.
Some more good news to share too. Em is now a little over halfway to her goal. Very cool! Now hopefully Em can hang in there and keep up the good work until she gets home. It’s a challenge, but we know Em can do it. She just did it, as a matter of fact!

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Bonemine: Bonemine came real close to earning her first discipline spanking last week. Her bottom barely was able to escape. This week she made sure not to cut it so close. Two no questions asked workouts had her bottom safe and sound. Great job!
Bonemine tells us her workouts aren’t very intense right now. She’d like to pick up the pace, but is keeping it slow and steady. That really is the way to do it too. Don’t want to get hurt or too sore to stick with it. The key is to start slow, and then slowly build upon success.
That’s the way Bonemine is handling her workouts… and that how she and her hubby are handling DD too. They’re doing a great job and will have lots of success with that approach.

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The new Yahoo Spanking Diet Group is off to a great start. 17 people have already joined and people are already talking. Looks like a really good group is coming together. If you’d like to join you can either Email us here at ToddnSuzy@yahoo.com or you can go straight to the group page at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/spankingdiet
The group is open to anyone that’s interested in using spanking to help motivate diet and/or exercise. You do need to be an adult though. The group is private, so only other members of the group will be able to see your posts. And you do have to have a Yahoo account (which is free).
Looks like we’ll work out a chat room too. The interest is there. More details coming soon.
Until then… good luck to everyone in the coming week!

Random Mussing

One of the best things about going to a spanking party is the chance to meet new friends.  Friends that not only know about your interest in spanking… but share it.  At the recent Florida Moonshine party we had the pleasure of meeting Short4ever.

In fact, we had the pleasure of enjoying a couple of different spankings with her.  Todd spanking her… while Short4ever’s partner Siege spanked Suzy.  Was great fun.  Beyond the spanking, we got to spend several hours getting to know them.  Definitely a couple we’d have been glad to have a “vanilla” friendship with.  That we all happen to share a mutual interest in spanking is a very nice bonus. 

A couple of weeks ago, shortly after the party, Short4ever decided to start a blog.  We were excited about the news not only because we know for a fact that she’s truly a spanko, but she’s also a good person with a warm heart.  Have to say too, her blog is off to a very good start.

Though Short4ever is new to blogging, she’s been keeping diaries and journals throughout her life.  Her blog has that sort of feel to it… which we enjoy because it gives a personal glimpse inside her thoughts and feelings.

Much of what she blogs about revolves around spanking.  In fact, Short4ever does a spanking diet… gets a reward for a good week, and a discipline spanking for giving less than her best effort.  She also like to blog about other topics too though… like work and religion.  Gives her blog a more rounded feel to it.

Short4ever is just starting out, but she’s off to a good start.  We think you’ll appreciate her approach and honest, so we hope you’ll start reading with us.  We invite you to check out…

Random Mussing

What are your ‘hard limits’ when it comes to spanking? Have you ever had a problem with your limits being respected… and if so, what did you do? Have your limits changed over time? Do you know what your partner’s hard limits are? Are they the same or very similar to yours?


 

We’re back safe and sound from Alabama.  Had a fun time with family just visiting.  Also got to go to Battleship Parkway and tour the battleship USS Alabama and the submarine USS Drum, both WWII era ships.  There was also an airplane museum, as well as several other things too.  Our son has become a bit of a WWII buff, so he had a great time.  If you’re ever in Alabama, it’s worth checking out.

The only downside was, there is no internet in Alabama!  lol… okay, we’re exaggerating a bit.  We certainly didn’t have access though.  Our only option was driving several miles to a McDonalds hot spot.  As a result, the Roundtable didn’t get posted until Saturday afternoon.  That cut down on the number of responses.  Still did pretty well though, and we certainly want to thank each of you that took time over the weekend to share.  You’re the best!

Here is how the Quick Response Poll finished up.

‘A few things’ was the easy winner, receiving more than twice as many votes as the runner-up.  Everyone does have limits though.  Threw out the option of not even keeping it legal… and no one took it.  So, we’re all law abiding spankos here!

Here are the comments for this week.  Actually got quite a few given the short amount of time.  A special thanks for those that made the extra effort.

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Thomas said: Wow. Apparently, hard limits is a hard topic of conversation. Barring extreme illegality, I don’t really know if I have hard limits as a spanker. Sometimes, I may have limits towards a certain person or situation, but I’m very open-minded about what I’ll do as long as THEY’RE the guinea pig and not me. 

All of my spankees have had hard limits of some form or another, and I think that it would be an unhealthy point of view to claim that you DIDN’T have some kind of hard limit to your play. Claiming that you have no limits could quickly teach you that you do, but only by hurting you beyond what is acceptable.

As a disciplinarian, it’s very important that I know my spankee’s hard limits as best as possible, as a discipline or punishment session doesn’t have the liberty of safewords or taking the time to talk it out. Thus, I have to know ahead of time what buttons can and can’t be pushed in my spankee’s head, or I could do more damage than good.

~Excellent point about a spanker needing to know limits during a discipline spanking, because that really isn’t the time for ‘is this ok’ type questions.~

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Ginger said: Face slapping is a hard limit for me.

Demeaning names, such as “whore” or “bitch” (if another friend playfully calls me “bitch”, fine…but not a spanker during a scene or sex play) No dehumanization.

Things like shoving me off his lap when he’s done. Anything said or done that insinuates disdain or disgust.

Potty play. While I will do ageplay, I will NOT do potty or diaper play.

Breast whipping.

There are probably a few more, but I am tired.

Now, the above is not fully “spanking”, per se, BUT are things you find in the community that go along with the spanking/submission theme. I am open to consider many things that I may not prefer if a partner would like to do them when it comes to spanking and implements and even most types of bondage.

Except the above mentioned.
g.

~Several emotional/state of mind type limits there, which perhaps some spankees don’t consider when thinking about their hard limits.  Really though, those are just as important as the physical ones.~

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PK said: In my current situation I don’t feel that I have any hard limits. Now if I were in a new situation, just getting to know someone I feel sure I would have plenty. I agree with all the ones Ginger mentioned. But with Nick I am willing to try anything he wants to try. We have been together so long and I feel that I know him so well I know I am safe trying anything he is comfortable with. If we tried something I didn’t feel was good for me or us I would just tell him and I know my wishes would be respected.

~Totally agree with what you’re saying.  Much easier to try something new, knowing that you’re completely safe with someone that loves and understand you.~

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Hapzoid said: For me, the demeaning, name calling, the face slapping, no warm up…just jumping to heavy spanking. My Love, the name calling, too much sting at once, for too long. I like a scolding and some warm up spanks to get me going, then I’m better prepared for the real sting. Love likes the long slow spanking, kind of gentle but eventually has things blazing.

~Sounds like your limits center on a need to feel ‘cared about’ during a spanking.  There are certainly a good number of spankees that feel the same way.~

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Alexandrea said: Like Ginger I set my hard limit at no face slapping at all. I have a tendency to bruise easily and the last thing I want my vanilla friends to see and then have questions about. Another hard limit I have when it comes to spanking is that the spanker respects my own limits and stops when I tell him I have had enough. Like the wonderful Pixie I have had a few mad experiences when the spanker didn’t respect my need to stop the punishment. It ended up going beyond my comfort zone, way into the twilight zone. Some more than hurtful things were said and I was beaten till I was black and blue from my buttocks down to the backs of my calves. I couldn’t wear shorts for a few weeks, not to mention the difficulty with sitting as well.

My last hard limit is the use of any instrument that is not designed for spanking in anyway. As many fellow spanko’s will agree when we see everyday objects we also see the spanking potential behind them as well. But for me, there is no spanking potential for a wire hanger. I always flash back to that movie scene of Mommy Dearest when Joan Crawford shouts, “No wire hangers ever!”. And I can speak from personal experience that wire hangers not only hurt horrible, they also have a tendency to mark and cut the skin as well.

~No “Mommy Dearest’ moments is a good hard limit to have!  Limits to protect us from ‘vanilla’ friends/family makes good sense too.  Many spankos do have to consider their privacy when it comes to setting hard limits.~

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Kari said: There are a few things (maybe more than a few) that are outside the strictly spanking lifestyle that are hard limits that I won’t budge on; such as knife play (that is one that will end all play and scenes immediately), slavery, face slapping, watersports, age play (if I do a school scene it is a college student, I won’t play a child), diapers, spanking/beating etc to feet. That is all I can think of for now, but I am sure there are more.

Within spanking not a ton of limits, there are some implements that I never thought I would like but do now. Hard limits are spanking thighs or anywhere below sit spot, wooden spoons (my mother would use those on us until they broke).

~It’s interesting that you mentioned wooden spoons as a hard limit because of the background you had with them.  Wonder how many spankos have implements that are off limits for the same sort of reason?~

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Cookie said: Besides things like diapers and all that I do not have very many hard limits with Thomas. But as someone else said that is also because I trust him and I would at least try things with him. I don’t get into the whole age play thing much either. I wouldn’t really feel comfortable in the age play thing except for a teenage type thing. Don’t really like any suggestions that I would be a younger child. I also don’t like any of that scat play or all that. I think enemas would be a hard limit as well. I have seen where they are used with spanking. Canes and things like that I would say for anyone else and for play they are a limit obviously not a hard limit though as Thomas uses them for discipline. But I trust and know that he would never hurt in any way that would do any lasting harm either emotionally or physical.

~A few people have mentioned that age play would be okay, so long as they were playing a teen and not a child.  Interesting distinction, but it makes sense on several different levels.~

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Carye said: I don’t really feel we have any hard limits. we know each other so well, and we are so far from any extremely hard spanking, I guess there just isn’t any reason for them. PS’s latest softer limit is he isn’t real comfortable with bruising. So, we try to avoid that. Mainly I want to because it means longer before the next spanking! LOL!!!

~Glad bruising is a “softer” limit, because that’s one that makes a really tough “hard” limit.  We’ve talked with spankees that say it is a hard limit of theirs’, and we always decline to play with them.  Fact is, how can you be *sure* not to cause a bruise?  Makes sense to say that you really-really want to try to avoid a bruise… honestly don’t understand those that say it’s a “hard limit” though.  For us, that always means no spanking at all.~

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short4ever said: What were once a hard limit for me are now a good time.  A hard limit for me when I was younger was that no one could touch my head during a spanking.  Now I love to have my hair pulled.  I always swore that no one would get near me with a cane.  Now it’s my favorite implement.  My hard limits now don’t really fall into the realm of spanking but bleed out into the realm of much heavier BDSM type of play.

~Hard limits do sometimes have a way of evolving and changing… we’ve both certainly experienced that.  Nothing wrong with that either, so long as the person with the hard limit is the one deciding to test it/push it (which we know is the case in your situation too).~

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Suzy Says:

My Hard Limits when it comes to spanking are mainly that the spanker REALLY pays attention to my reactions. I’m very VERY expressive and don’t hold much (if anything) back so it’s not hard to ‘read’ me. If a spanker is spanking me without care or concern with how or what I’m feeling, then I’m going to get angry and it’s not going to be a good scene (to say the least lol). I’ve luckily never had this problem and have been content with every spanking I’ve received so far so I hope that keeps that way.

That limit has never changed and doubtful that it will but my preferences for certain implements and my tolerance have both changed greatly over the last year. Before we started going to parties, I knew what I could handle based on the different moods and types of spankings Todd gave me.. but once we started more social spanking, a whole new feeling of excitement came over me and I wanted/want more and more and can tolerate so much more than I could before.

As a Spanker, Todd has NO LIMITS WHATSOEVER lol.. No.. just kidding.. Todd is very concerned about what the woman he spanks wants to feel and his limits are to not exceed that. He does that remarkably well in my opinion.

As far as my hard limits outside of spanking.. currently are:

I don’t mind naughty language when used sexually and erotically, but I don’t really find the word Cunt very sexy.
Don’t want any kind of potty/skat/diaper play.
Not interested in seeing men on men .. wouldn’t mind a few men on me .. but that’s a whole nother scene
Bondage is good, gagging me with anything (other than your hand or other body part ) is not.
Oh and as many people already know, Todd and I only play together… now we don’t mind giving privacy when it’s someone we both trust and it’s something one of us wants, but we like being there.

I think that’s it but I’m not too shy to say if anything else comes to mind that I don’t want/like, so no worries

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Todd Says: My hard limits are… I’m not getting spanked, and I’m not spanking a guy.  I’m not doing anything with poop… and I need a spankee to be *clean* and odor free.  Wont do anything that causes permanent marks/damage.  Wont do anything that could land me in jail.

There are surely some other things that I’m not recalling that I wouldn’t do.  And there are things that I’ve never done, and have never looked to do… but if asked under the right circumstances, I’d try… but then could become new hard limits of mine.

Really though, as a spanker I don’t have to worry too much about *my* limits.  It’s really easy for me not to do something.  It’s virtually always going to be my choice.  So, I don’t have to spend too much time thinking about it.  It’s the spankee’s limits that I have to focus on.  She’s the one that can have a line crossed… not me.

We’re in Alabama this weekend visiting Suzy’s dad. Not only does he not have internet connection… but he has no phone (uses only a cell). So, we’re limited to the local McDonald’s ‘hot spot.’ We’re having a good time though, and will be back in touch by Monday. Until then, here is a little spanking joke… and we do invite you to share your thoughts in this week’s Roundtable topic (see post below).

Have a great weekend!