*Struggling During a Spanking*

Pain is a part of spanking, especially a hard one. Those preparing to submit to a spanking are especially aware of this obvious fact, yet they willing accept the pain that is about to come.

But what we accept in our mind, doesn’t always translate into what we do. Sometimes our body, disagrees with the decision our mind has made… and isn’t willing to negotiate the point. There is a natural instinct to pull away from pain. It’s an evolutionary habit, that protects us from harm. Without it, we’d have to make ~the decision~ to take our hand off a hot stove. Nature has wisely eliminated those moments of contemplation.

This self-preserving instinct tends to kick in when one’s rear is burning from the pain of a firm spanking. Mild forms include things such as clinching up or wiggling legs… to twisting and turning, ‘blocking’ with the hand, kicking and pushing… to actually getting up. The body over-rides the mind, and tries to avoid the pain that is being inflicted.

This avoidance isn’t desirable. It is contrary to the desires of most spankees and spankers, and thus can take away from the spanking experience. This is a consensual act, one that is willingly accepted… and when it comes to discipline/punishment… it is earned. Too much struggling can leave a spankee feeling guilty about how well a spanking was received and a spanker confused about how well it was given. Struggling can also be dangerous. A spank that errantly lands on a finger/hand/wrist or somewhere on the lower back/tailbone because of a sudden movement can cause real damage. Most especially if a solid implement (such as a wood paddle) is being used.

There are options to avoid or at least minimize struggling. Simple restraints can be used, like the spanker using their free hand to hold the spankees hand down… all the way to using things like handcuffs, ropes or straps. A spanker can try to motivate by promising extra spanks or starting over. Corner-time can be used to allow the spankee to gather themselves. Lots of possible options.

This week at the Roundtable we’d like to talk about struggling during a spanking… what your thoughts are and how you handle it. As always, we welcome any and all to share. Would love to hear from you, so please don’t be shy.

Here are a few questions to get the discussion started.

What are your thoughts about struggling during a spanking? Do you or your spanker ever do anything to minimize it? If so, what is the most common method used? What do you think of restraints being used?

You can leave a comment below, or if you like you can Email us at ToddnSuzy@yahoo.com and we’ll post your thoughts in the Sunday Roundtable Wrap-up.

We also have a Quick Response Poll, and we do invite you to vote in that too. Hope you can participate.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

What is the most common method you use (or have used) to minimize struggling during a spanking? Spanker’s hands and/or legs. Ropes, cuffs, straps, etc. Adding more spanks. Corner-time / a pause. Something else. Struggling isn’t an issue. N/A – no spankings, yet. Current Results

We recently were on a summer vacation trip that has us visiting friends on the way up to New York City for a Strictly Spanking New York spanking party… and then catching up with a couple of more friends on the way back home. Thought we’d share some of the fun here in a series of posts. Today we’re covering the last leg of the trip. Enjoy!

Cass
After our fun in New York we drove out of the city and got a hotel in New Jersey. Would have loved to have stayed in NYC, but the rates we found there were pretty high. We really only needed a place to sleep too, so New Jersey worked just fine. It had been a long day and we were sound asleep a few minutes after checking in.

After a good night’s sleep we got up and had breakfast before getting on the road. Didn’t have too long of a drive before getting to our friend Cass’ house. We first met Cass early this year and have built a very nice friendship with her since. Very sweet girl and we really enjoy her company.

Part of our friendship with Cass involves a discipline relationship. A few different issues that we’re helping her with, including staying on top of household chores. In the past she had a bad habit of putting off things like getting laundry and dishes done. She works a late shift, so it’s easy to fall into putting things off. That leads to a lot of clutter though and next thing you know there is a big mess.

To Cass’ credit though, her place was in perfect shape. She’d obviously put a lot of time into the details. Looked really nice. She got a nice good girl hug for her hard work.

It wasn’t all good girl news though. After relaxing and catching up for a bit there were a couple of issues to cover. Cass had gotten herself into some trouble by procrastinating until the last minute, and then having something come up that caused a further delay… and thus making her late. Cass got a good scolding  in which she was made to answer some specific questions about her decisions. It was explained that even a valid excuse doesn’t protect her bottom when she waits until the last minute to get something done.

With the talking done, Cass’ pants and panties were pulled down and she was given a firm hand spanking. It had been a while since she’d last been spanked and her bottom turned pink and then red pretty quickly.

When the spanking was over and Cass was pulling her pants up and wiping away a tear… Suzy asked Cass about an answer she’d offered during her scolding. Cass claimed that a “to do” list she was supposed to have done “must have accidentally fallen in the trash.” Suzy wanted to know if that was true. Cass explained that of course it wasn’t… that she’d never actually gotten the list done, and assumed that we knew she was joking.

Suzy responded by saying… “so you lied, during a scolding?” Pretty sure Cass realized her joke wasn’t very funny at that point…

After a brief scolding about the appropriate time to use humor (ie: not right before a discipline spanking), Cass again found her pants and panties down around her ankles. This time she found herself laying on the bed though, getting the Lexan Paddle from Suzy.

Cane for Cass
After giving a couple of spankings, we’d built up an appetite… lol (see, after the spankings it is okay to joke!). Cass and her sore bottom took us to a nice restaurant in town. We got a chance to drive around a bit and check things out too. Made for a nice little outing.

When we got back to Cass’ place we watched a DVD we’d rented… a Will Ferrell movie. Cass claimed that watching a Will Ferrell movie is about as bad as any discipline spanking, lol. So, she didn’t care for the flick. We thought it was okay though. Good for a few laughs.

After the movie there was still one more issue to cover. A bit complicated, but it boiled down to some issues with honesty and not always giving her best effort. Cass already had a lot of guilt built up and it was an emotional talk for her. A good one though, felt like some real progress was made.

The spanking was a long one. Started with a hand spanking from Todd, followed by a session with the Hawaiian Paddle. After some corner-time to gather herself and reflect a bit, things finished up with the cane. A hard session for sure. Cass was one sore girl afterwards, but it was obvious that she felt better. A lot of things were worked through.

Then we gave Cass a little aftercare. She was too sore for lotion to help, but cool washcloths did sooth her skin. She promised to be a good girl… and we can share she really has done great since we saw her.

We had some dinner and a relaxed chat. Nice way to cap off a good day with our friend. We both gave her a big hug and headed back onto the road. Wish it could have been a longer visit, but it was certainly nice getting to see Cass for the time we did. Have shared a video of Cass getting the cane at the bottom of the post… hope you can check that out.  Also added a ‘Before and After’ pic too.

Robert and Scunge
We covered several hours on the road that evening before checking into a hotel. Wanted to be somewhat close to Robert and Scunge’s place. We did get pretty close too, though ended up in some frustrating traffic in the morning getting there… so really didn’t save much time. All the hours on the road were starting to add up, so we were less than thrilled about that.

Once we got to Robert and Scunge’s house though, we immediately felt relaxed. They have a really neat place. 3 levels and lots of cool stuff. Robert is an artist, and a talented one. He does a wide mix of things, some of it simple and some of it extremely complex. He even does kink related art, including some spanking related pieces. Scunge has a great deal of talent too. She made Todd a blanket for his birthday. Haven’t used it too much yet (being summer and all), but it looks incredible and we have received several compliments about it.

So just walking through their place checking all their stuff out is a treat. They were great hosts too, made us feel really welcome. We had a nice meal at a local restuarant. No favor to our diet efforts, but it was good food!

As luck would have it, we ended up at Robert and Scunge’s on Consensual Spanking Day too… so you know there was lots of spanking!

They have their basement setup perfectly for spanking play. It’s private and sound proof with a bed, couch and some chairs. Robert had his bag of implements and we had ours. Turned out to be a nice spanking party for 4.

Robert gave Scunge a spanking first… a long one with lots of implements. They didn’t have any spanking pictures of their own, so Todd gladly took some for them. Those turned out real nice.

Of course, he took a turn spanking Scunge too. Scunge took a really hard 10 second spanking too… enough to get her eyes teared up a bit. Ouch! She was a brave girl though, and we think she was proud to have made it through too.

Suzy also got herself a 10 second spanking. Well, it was SUPPOSED to be a 10 second spanking, Robert was timing it (as Todd spanked)… and, oops… lol… he forgot to call out “time!” when the 20 seconds was up. So Suzy’s really hard and really fast spanking lasted about 40 seconds.

Not that anyone complained. Well, except for Suzy…

Lots of spanking fun and you can’t beat spending Consensual Spanking Day with friends.

We stayed the night, planning to have breakfast in the morning before heading for home. Someone lost the car key though. Wont say who it was, but SUZY was the last one to have it. That delayed us several hours. Not a big deal though. Got it taken care of, and got to spend some extra time with our friends.

The drive home was a looong one, but it went smoothly. An awesome summer vacation for us. We loved all the neat places we got to see, the time we spent together and all of the wonderful friends we had fun with. A big thank you to everyone that put up with us!

… and here is that video…

We had a fun-fun weekend in Ocala. Our streak of not going out to eat ended, but we did make healthy choices across the board. Also spent about 9 hours in the water on Saturday, so lots of exercise. Paid for that though. Despite putting on sunscreen a couple of times we both got pretty bad sunburns. Looked like a couple of lobsters by the time we got home.

Had a great time though. Our son even managed to smile and enjoy himself on the trip… which was really nice. Though it was a vanilla weekend with family, we did manage to sneak in a little spanking fun too. Hope to share that in a post soon.

The rest of the week was pretty boring. Not much going on. Did do really well on the diet though, and we’ve managed to stay on track since returning from our trip to New York.

Things get a little busier in September, but we’re focused on having a strong month. Overall we’re feeling really good about how things are going.

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Friends Update

Carye: Good news from Carye this week. On the diet front she was down 1.2 pounds, which she is really happy about. Even better though is some of the restrictions her doctor has had her on were lifted. She is now able to add dairy back into her diet and she can start light exercise (mainly walking).

Carye still isn’t back to her regular self health wise, but she tells us she’s feeling much better. We’re glad things are going well too… and very nice to hear good diet news.

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Jean: Jean is getting back into her regular routine at home and work as the summer draws to a close. She’s feeling good and mostly sticking to her rules. One issue with following doctor’s instructions this last week, but nothing too big… and she has promised to get back on track.

We’re looking forward to seeing Jean this coming weekend too. We’re having a small one day party in Ocala. Kind of a last minute thing for us spankos that wont be able to make it out to Las Vegas for the Labor Day party… and it will be just the one day. Looking forward to seeing some of our friends though, and of course catching up with Jean.

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Courtney: A rough week for Courtney. Things started with a fever and pain. She found out that was caused by a kidney infection and got put on some medication. Had a negative reaction to the meds though and ended up in the hospital for a couple of days. The good news is she home and feeling much better. Everything is going to be fine, which we’re all happy to hear. But yea, not a fun week for her.

With the health issues she was having the diet obviously got put on hold. The challenge was actually getting enough calories and fluids down. This week she wants to make sure to get her strength back. She’s hoping to otherwise get back into the swing of things though. We’re sending her some get well hugs.

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Good luck to everyone in the coming week.

If you’re interested in the Spanking Diet, we’d like to invite you to check out the Yahoo Spanking Diet Group. It’s a great group. Over 200 members now… lively discussions with lots of encouragement and idea sharing. We’d love to have you!

All you need is a free Yahoo account that lists your ~adult age~ in your *public profile*.

Always feel fee to Email us at ToddnSuzy@yahoo.com too… we always enjoy talking with new like-minded friends.

Cowgirl’s Spanking Journey
Cowgirl is a good friend of ours… a friend that had stopped blogging for different reasons. She is back now though, and in fact has her own .com site. We’re really happy about that too and are happy to be adding her back to our link list.

Cowgirl offers a little bit of everything on her site. Humor and poetry, real life experiences… fantasy and opinion. A fun blog with an upbeat time that we always enjoy visiting. She also will be playing in the OTK Fantasy Football league this coming season. She almost won last year, losing in the Championship Game at the end of the season. She likes posting about how her team is doing, which is fun to read.

You can see by the picture what her team name is too, which gives you a little insight into Cowgirl’s bratty side.

Do hope you’ll check her site out… and do leave a comment if you can. As a fellow blogger, we can tell you that’s very much appreciated.

Shadow Lane Spanking
We’ve been fans of Shadow Lane for a long time. The very first video we ever got came from Shadow Lane. Back then, that meant ordering through the mail… and waiting. And being totally honest here, it also meant spending a decent chunk of change. Then once you got the video in the mail, you ended up fast forwarding through different parts… and perhaps entire scenes… to get to the ‘good stuff.’

So, all that waiting and cost and then having to skip through stuff… lol… you might be wondering why we like Shadow Lane! Well, they start with some of the prettiest girls in the spanking world. From Kiri Kelly and Tanya Foxx in the 1980s to Jennifer Brooks in the 1990s… to Amelia Jane Rutherford, Pixie Wells, Samantha Woodley and many more lovely stars today. Plus, there are lots of well known spankers in Shadow Lane Videos (Dallas, Keith Jones, Steve Fuller, Danny Chrighton, etc-etc). It’s wall to wall stars.

They then take those stars and put them in the best possible light… literally. Shadow Lane has high production values. They’ve been doing this for a long time now and they know what they’re doing.

Finally, Shadow Lane offers more than just a single format. If you like discipline spankings, they offer those. More playful… have those too. Erotic or sexual spanking, check and check. Role plays, costumes, M/F, F/F, group spankings… you pretty much pick what you like.

And hey, guess what… all those negatives we dealt with in the past are now gone. Today thanks to Hot Movies you can go directly to the Shadow Lane studio and pick whatever video you like from their library and get instant access. Not just the video you want, but the actual scene you’d like to see. No more waiting or fast forwarding. And the cost, as little as 8 cents a minute… and that doesn’t even count the free 10 minutes you get. It really couldn’t be easier.

If you enjoy spanking videos, you can’t go wrong. Well-well worth checking out!

Do you believe it is possible for a “spanko” to truly be punished/disciplined by a spanking? If so, how can something they like (a spanking) be turned into something they wish to avoid? If you don’t think it is possible, than what do you think the point of so-called “discipline spankings” is and do they actually motivate BAD behavior?

This topic came to mind last week as we watched Parker and Brinlee get grilled on their blog by vanillas… some of whom made the point that spanking can’t be discipline if you like spanking. A logical enough sounding opinion, and in fact one that is shared some spankos. A complicated issue for sure, but we decided to tackle it. Turned out really well too. An excellent Roundtable discussion and a big thank you to all that took the time to share.

Let’s start the Wrap-Up by taking a look at the Quick Response Poll results.

Do you believe it is possible for a “spanko” to truly be punished/disciplined by a spanking?
Yes, for sure. ~ 77%
Probably. ~ 11%
Not sure. ~ 2%
Probably not. ~ 9%
No way. ~2%

The readers of A.S.S. are obviously mostly spankos, so these results aren’t too surprising. This question isn’t asking about a personal view… can it be punishment *for you*… and it’s also merely asking if it’s “possible.” Most spankos know other spankos that are in a discipline relationship, even if such a relationship would never work for them. The net result is an extremely one sided poll.

Honestly think though if we asked the same sort of question to a vanilla crowd, the responses would tilt heavily in the opposite direction.

The neat thing about this week’s Roundtable discussion is the comments. Not a lot of them these week, but some great insights. Really worth a read this week and we do hope you’ll check them out.

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Poppy said: I do understand the dichotomy of spanking a spanko for discipline and all I can say is that it works but I think it takes a clever Top and a willing bottom. I recently had a discipline spanking that did change me, it had a real impact that I think will last. (Fingers crossed it does.)

For me it needed to be several spankings, I did the forbidden act and I got spanked for it. I could do it as much as I wanted but I got spanked every time. Except it was the cane rather than the spanking. And then I had to go to the corner for ages. I really need to write properly about this to make sense. I think it ended up as a Pavlovian thing. I would do the act either watching the cane or watching the table I would end up over. The awareness of what was coming next ruined the act. I also get spanked a lot by my lover for other things so it was not like this was my only access to spanking. I am sorry I have done such a rambling reply. I will write it better soon.

~We think you wrote an excellent response! You’re talking about consistency and the impact it has. You KNOW if you do x, you’re getting a spanking you don’t want… and that has a powerful impact. Think you make a great point about needing a clever top too. You obviously enjoy certain kinds of spankings, and thus it takes some thought and insight to find a spanking that will motivate you. That’s not a simple thing.~

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Cass said: For the longest time I thought that DD couldn’t *really* work…and “spankos” enjoying spankings was one of the reasons. However, I now believe that it *can* work.

There are plenty of ways to make a discipline spanking undesirable for a “spanko”…a scolding that evokes strong (sometimes painful) emotions…using implements that are reserved for discipline and which a spankee would otherwise avoid…severity of the spanking that goes well beyond what the spankee finds enjoyable…no warm-up or slow built-up in intensity so there is no drifting off into “sub space” (which really is what makes the harder spankings enjoyable; take that out of the equation and it plain *hurts*)…no playfulness or comforting before or during the spanking, etc.

Bottom line is that in order to work, a discipline spanking needs to be distinctly different from a non-discipline spanking. Also…once a spankee has experienced the joys of a “good girl” spanking…they’d much rather have more of those than the discipline. I also believe it’s crucial that the spankee has the opportunity to have all her spanking needs met without having to get into serious trouble. This might include hard spankings…and even role-play “discipline-spankings”. If, on the other hand, the only surefire way to get the spanker’s attention is to misbehave, then that will lead to more of the bad behavior and ends up being counterproductive.

So yeah…I do think discipline spankings can be true punishment for a “spanko” (and discourage unwanted behavior). They take a skilled disciplinarian…and a spankee that is open to real discipline.

~You made several excellent points. A discipline spanking “plain hurts” while other types of spankings offer aspects that make it likable is a simple way to explain it to a vanilla friend. The emotional aspect of discipline is the more complex part of the answer, but it is definitely important. Could maybe boil that one down simply too, ‘it doesn’t feel good to disappoint someone you respect and care about.’ Think most vanillas could grasp that.~

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Hermione said: I don’t believe that spanking would be an effective form of discipline for me, and it probably would actually encourage me to do the forbidden thing, in order to get spanked for it.

The other things mentioned above – scolding, cornertime – are separate acts, and have nothing to do with spanking. Yes, scolding is a strong deterrent for me. I will do anything to avoid unpleasantness and raised voices. But that’s not a spanking. Ron agrees that spanking is a reward for me, only to be administered if I’m good. Punishment is no spanking.

~Interesting… we have always including things like scolding and corner time as part of the entire discipline spanking package. Certainly understand your perspective though. The idea of using spanking *as a reward* definitely has benefits too. Ideally we like the ’stick’ of a discipline spanking and the ‘carrot’ of a good girl spanking. Making that stick no spanking at all though, hey that certainly works for some too.~

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s. said: Yes it is possible to discipline a spanko, and no it does not necessarily create bad behavior. What may or may not work for someone is not an absolute for all.

Some excerpts of my own writing on the topic:

The human mind is capable of separating contexts of situations. That’s first and foremost. I do think we can (from both sides) experience a ’satisfaction’, for whatever reason, from a punishment — but that is different from “pleasure”

Context of a spanking makes a huge difference in what makes that spanking a “discipline” spanking. An analogy I can use is that going to the gynecologist and having the doc mess with my girlie bits vs having R do so are two vastly different contexts. I don’t enjoy gyno visits from a sexual standpoint. And the doctor, if he is a man, may enjoy womanly parts from a sexual standpoint but is able to put the sexual side of it out of his mind to function in his role — but he may go home later to his wife and do the same things for his wife in the context of their sexual relationship. (Or even if he was his wife’s gyno, surely while performing doctorly duties on her he can put the sexual context outta his mind) .

Why can’t the same be for spanking and one who can function in a disciplinarian role as well as outside of it? Isn’t possible that some can push the sexual aspect out of mind, due to their personalities, while others can not?

Discipline actually involves way more than just the physical act of spanking anyway. Spanking is a very small component, a tool used to help make it work. Spanking alone is not what discipline entails. If it was all there was to it then, no, it would most likely not work at all.
-sarah

~We’ve talked quite a bit about this topic with you in person… and think your gyno analogy is an excellent one (or a guy turning his head and coughing). One counter we have heard to this point goes… yea, but you don’t day dream about gyno visits, you don’t read and write stories about gyno visits, you don’t watch videos… etc-etc. Well, first of all… how do they know that? lol… you might do ALL of those things! Seriously though, it goes back to context and separating things.

If your gynecologist is smoking hot, you might indeed have little day dreams. But, your mind will filter out the ‘bad stuff.’ It doesn’t hurt, nothing is cold, the lights aren’t bright, there isn’t a nurse standing right there… etc-etc. He also isn’t married with two kids… and your husband isn’t at home waiting to ask “how did it go.” It’s not that you’re not aware of all these realities… just since a fantasy is fake, there is no need to keep it real.

A discipline spanking can be the same. The reality is a good deal of real pain and a tough emotional experience. The fantasy doesn’t touch on those things. It’s just the positives of the dynamic… having someone there, that firm but fair hand, a strong and caring shoulder… etc. It certainly possible to day dream about things we don’t REALLY want though (and bus loads of cheerleaders can be extremely grateful for that, lol).~

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Isabella said: I think that it is possible for someone who likes to be spanked to benefit from a discipline spanking.

But, for that to happen, there has to be an established relationship that goes deeper than simply spanking. There needs to be an emotional connection that will make disappointing the spanker almost as bad as the actual spanking. That being said, it is also important to make sure that misbehavior is not used as a tool to get a spanking, or even to get the spankers attention and affection.

So, all of that to say that, yes, I think discipline spankings can be useful to someone who likes spankings as long as they are used properly.

~The emotional side of this is a lot more difficult to explain, but that really is the most important part of it. Vanillas focus only on the spanking part, but that is actually just the final piece of the process.~

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littlebrat said: Yes I definitely without a doubt believe that a spanko can be truly punished/disciplined with a spanking.

Anyone who knows me pretty much knows that I am a spanko 100%. I LOVE spanking.

However, I seriously try to aviod discipline spankings. There is a whole different realm to a discipline spanking than a playful or erotic one. For one it usually involves a good deal of lecturing/scolding. He is disappointed in me and I am disappointed in myself. I have done something wrong and being wired as a spanko, pretty much the only thing in addition to the lecturing that is going to let me forgive myself is the spanking that follows. It is usually harder, a lot longer depending, and I am in search of forgiveness to “wipe the slate clean” so I can forgive myself for what I have done. I am truly sorry that I have done something and I need the discipline to forgive myself and feel that he once again believes in me. I am going to be taken to a very vulnerable state that I don’t want to share with just everyone and I think that relationship is a very intuned one that brings with it a lot of trust, understanding and respect.

Discipline is a very serious matter to me. It is not something that you play with. For me it works but I think you really need to be “wired” for it, and I don’t believe everyone is. If you aren’t wired for it then I believe it is a game to you. You get disciplined, you purposely repeat the offense or throw it back in the Top’s face so they discipline you again. To me, that is total disrespect and I don’t think you are wired for it then, I think maybe you just like harder spankings and therefore, just ask for a harder spanking, and should forget the discipline type because it is nothing more than a game to play. That is not to say that won’t very possibly repeat an offense you have been disciplined for but not because you purposely thought I am going to do this so I can get another harder spanking. We do fail at times, sometimes several times with a particularly hard issue we are trying to deal with. Tops know the difference though, and you will still be spanked harder for each repeat offense but sometimes if the issue is a particulary hard one you are trying to accomplish, that is just what it takes. I still believe in the end you will accomplish it and it will be the increased spanking that helps you to get to that goal.

Consistency is the key and both being on the same page and both being serious about it is what it takes.

~We do know you, and you are indeed 100% spanko. You do love spankings too, even playful discipline type role-play spankings. Yet, when it comes to *real discipline*… and we have talked with you at times when you’re in trouble… your entire personality changes. It’s no longer fun and playful and relaxed, instead you are… well… almost depressed. You are obviously disappointed in yourself, and you are dreading what is coming. It’s not really the spanking that you’re dreading either, but rather the interaction that comes with it… basically you being called onto the carpet and made to answer for your decisions. Again think this comes back to the emotional part of it, which is something most vanilla people don’t consider.~

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Suzy Says: Yes, I do. I am very much an example of this because I adore spankings, erotic, playful, hard, even caning excites me… but one look from Todd and the mere mention of getting a discipline spanking… brings me to tears. It’s not fun, it’s not nice, it’s hard and makes me feel really really bad. I feel like I have disappointed him and because I love and respect and care about how he feels, that tears me up. I can take LOTS of hard wood paddle spankings in fun or at parties without complaint. But I am miserable, sad, and yes.. even fearfully dreading the 10 discipline spanks with the Mean Old Wood Paddle that I get if I break a ‘rule’ that results in a discipline spanking.

Todd and I have helped some girls over the years in disciplinary relationships and while most of them are sincere and devoted to the DD dynamic.. there have been one or two who have shown themselves to be more in it for the HARD spankings than they really were for any positive progress to be made. We always try to explain at the beginning of any such relationship, that we are fine giving them the kind of spankings they want… whether it be a mild one, or a hard one.. but that request is separate from the discipline and the discipline spankings need to be real and need to be something they try to avoid. But after some time, like all things that aren’t real, it becomes more and more obvious that it’s not a DD relationship they are looking for but a regular spanker to give them HARD spankings that they want and when they want and all they have to do is break their rules to get them.. that’s when it just doesn’t work.. so in the end it’s not really
getting them what they want afterall.

The main foundation of ANY spanking relationship, DD or otherwise, should be trust and honesty, and if communication always includes these two things, everyone is better for it.

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Todd Says:  Yes, I believe a spanko… even one that loves-loves-loves to be spanked… can be given a spanking that is truly a punishment, and truly something they will work to avoid in the future. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, so I am *sure* it is possible. Not possible for everyone of course, but certainly it is for some.

I think the key is making the something they like into something they don’t. The most obvious way that is done is making the actual spanking completely unpleasant. How that is done depends on the spankee. In general though, a spanking that starts on the bare bottom with zero warm-up (it’s a hard spanking from spank #1) is a really good start. Can throw in an implement (wood paddle) too, and very few spankees are going to want a spanking like that.

There are other more specific things that can be done… state of undress, position, spanks on upper/inner thighs… and so on. A lot of ways to make a spanking unpleasant and thus something to avoid.

To really work though, there needs to be more than just the spanking going on. There needs to be an emotional connection that motivates the things that come with a discipline spanking… the scolding/talk and disappointment that comes with it.

Even the rare spankee that likes really-REALLY hard spankings doesn’t want to truly disappoint someone she cares about and respects. I’ve given a spankee a playful spanking that was HARDER than a real discipline one… and the playful one was fun for her, and the discipline one left her a crying and emotionally spent.

The key is making the discipline spanking something that isn’t enjoyed. It does take time to do that, it’s not always obvious and it definitely isn’t one size fits all. If she is open to the discipline dynamic though and the connection is there, it certainly can work… even if she really enjoys other types of spankings.

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All the pictures in this week’s Roundtable Wrap-Up come from Chelsea Phieffer. Excellent site that is well worth checking out. Can watch 10 minutes worth of videos totally free too… with zero obligation.

Football season is right around the corner. In fact, preseason games have already started. And for the second year in a row… we’re going to do the OTK Fantasy Football League.

Now you might wonder, ‘what do spanking and football have in common?’ Well they do both have Redskins! But yea, they don’t typically have much to do with each other. We’ve found a way to mix the two and make it fun though.

The OTK League uses very-very basic fantasy football rules. If know what a “touchdown” and “quarterback” is and you usually watch the SuperBowl, you know enough to play. We had several spankees play last year that knew very little about football and yet still managed to do okay. So it’s a simple game.

And it is a simple game played by a group of spankos… and that is where the fun comes. Last year that was lots of playful bratting and teasing. Good natured “trash talking.” We kept track of how the spankers did vs the spankees, and there were some fun side bets.

A good example of a bet was the one Todd and Cookie (from Cookie’s Jar) made last year when their teams played. If Todd won, Cookie would get a hard hand spanking with a wood paddle. Ouch! If Cookie won, it meant she got a soft spanking… with the silly SpongeBob paddle. You can see how that turned out by clicking HERE.

Of course, you don’t have to make spanking bets… several that played, didn’t. But either way there are lots of ways to have fun.

PLUS, we play for a very-very cool prize! The winner of the league gets the ‘Black Knight’ courtesy of our friends at Cane-iac. This is neat paddle, probably unlike anything you have. It is made of made of high quality Polypropylene which gives it a slick look. It;s 20″ long, 3″ wide and 1/4″ thick with a 6″ textured no-slip handle. We’re told of all the implements Cane-iac makes, ~this paddle~ stings *the most*. Wow!

Not we’re not sure why a spankee would want to win this, lol… but it’s a great prize. You can read more about the paddle HERE.

And, there is also going to be another prize for the runner-up… the ‘Black Knight Jr.’ So TWO prizes this year. Very excited about that.

So a fun (and free) was to mix spanking and football. We really enjoy the game not only because it allows us to connect with spanko friends… but… it allows us to connect with each other on Sunday too. Suzy is an extremely casual football fan, while Todd is… uhh… “more” of a fan, lol. But the OTK league gives Suzy a reason to watch and follow, which makes Sundays more fun around here.

Plus, if you play… and you have a blog… you get to interact and share links with other spanko bloggers.

The draft is on Tuesday, Sept 7 at 9pm (est).  It’s done online (on Yahoo) and you don’t even have to be there (though it certainly helps if you can be).  We’re more than happy to answer any and all questions… and we’ll help newbies and novices too.

Now the question is… do you want to play? If you do or you have questions, just Email us at ToddnSuzy@yahoo.com. There are a limited number of spots, so if you’re interested please don’t wait.

We did a fun interview last year for the blog, A Spanking Good Time. Sadly, Tiggs has removed her blog. We do hope she’s doing okay. Did enjoy her blog… and like we said, the interview we did was fun. She asked a question that really got us thinking. Here is a flashback to the post we did about that question.

Enjoy and have a great weekend. 

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We recently did an interview for A Spanking Good Time. Tiggs asked some really good questions and we had fun answering them. Believe she’s going to post the interview this coming Monday… so check that out if you can. Say hi to Tiggs too. She’s a good girl with a neat blog.

One of the questions she asked was – Is there any spanking implement that you’d really like to try?

That was a hard question to answer because we have tried out just about every implement we can think of. There is an implement that we’d like to own though… an Aluminum Paddle.

First got to try out an Aluminum Paddle thanks to our friend Thomas (from Thomas’s Spanking Exploits). Believe he’d purchased it on E-bay. He likes to put the paddle in the freezer before spanking play starts. Then, once bottoms had gotten nice and toasty… out it comes. Quite a contrast! Excellent for sensation play.

The Aluminum Paddle also is good for actual spanking. It can obviously be an extremely harsh paddle… but, that’s up to the spanker. Easy enough to tone it down to the point that it works really well in even a moderate playful spanking.

You can see a video of it in action HERE.

We’ve found a site that offers Aluminum Paddles too. A bit different than the one Thomas has. ‘The Paladin’ by eXtreme Restraints has holes in it… and it is pricey. So, for right now at least it remains on our wish list. Would be fun to have one though!

They also offer an ‘Electric Paddle’… which gives a zapping jolt with each spank. Sounds pretty intense! Not sure we’d try that one… well… maybe… once.