How important is the first spank of a spanking when compared to other spanks? Do you think the first spank of a discipline spanking should be ‘full on’ or something less? What about other types of spankings… how do you usually prefer they start? Something really soft and gentle or something more?

How a spanking starts… specifically that very first spank… was the topic of this week’s Roundtable. We enjoyed the topic and thank all that took the time to share. We do appreciate it! Let’s jump into the Wrap-Up by taking a look at the Quick Response Poll.

When it comes to the first spank of a (non-discipline) spanking, which do most often prefer?
Really gentle spank/rub. ~10%
Something on the softer side. ~13%
A moderate spank. ~ 27%
Some real zip and ouch to it. ~ 33%
Don’t hold anything back. ~ 17%

Honestly thought that “gentle” would get the most votes… something that started off as a really nice warm-up and built from there. That actually got the fewest votes though. Shows what we know, lol. The majority prefer something that is at least moderate and a good number prefer even more. Something that says “this is a spanking” is favored by most.

Didn’t get a lot of comments this week, but the ones we did get were certainly interesting. Well worth checking out… and here they are.

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Hermione said: From my point of view, the first spank always hurts a lot! Until I get warmed up, I always have a few moments of wondering why I am doing this. Then I settle into the rhythm, the smacks start feeling less intrusive and more comfortable, and I enjoy the spanking.

I think I’d like to start with moderate and work upwards, but it usually seems to feel like the reverse happens.
Hugs,
Hermione

~Understand what you mean by that “why am I doing this” moment. That’s a great way to describe it. It’s the reason too that we thought more would pick a gentle start.~

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Sherryl said: The first one some real zip and ouch to it to tell me that they mean business. I like to get down to business nothing wimpy.

~The majority in the poll answered the same… and we suspect for the same basic reason. They want to know it’s a spanking from the very start.~

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Spankedhortic said: Have to agree with Hermione on this one. Getting through that “Oh my god, that hurts. Why do I do this?” part of the spanking can often be helped with a moderate hand or use of other toy, even with the first swat. Once the “Hello fairies” part of the spanking has been reached though it is time to lay it on with a will
-Prefectdt

~Sounds like “moderate” is viewed as a lighter warm-up like start to many… while something less like a gentle swat doesn’t really count as much of anything.~

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Jean said: For me, it has to do with what mood I am in or what I feel like handling. Often times it also depends upon health issues.

~The mood… or type of spanking… does seem like it would make a big difference. If it’s a role-play type spanking that touches on discipline themes, that is going to likely require a different start from say a sensual type spanking.~

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Suzy Says: Well with erotic.. slow.. then building but at a steady pace (I get impatient lol) and then full on till I can’t stand it anymore…

with playful.. firm.. teasing.. light.. hard.. back and forth.. unexpected..

with discipline.. full on and get it done and over with, lol.

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Todd Says: I do think the first spank of a spanking is more important than say the 47th spank is… and overall, it probably is the most important. It does help set the tone. Though, the first spank is probably forgotten right around the time the second spank is landing… so it’s not ~that~ important.

When it comes to a real discipline spanking, I do firmly believe that the first spank should be all business. No warm-up and nothing playful there. Needs to be something that is not wanted and it needs to be a spanking that is obviously different from other kinds of spankings. Those messages need to be conveyed from the beginning.

For other types of spankings though, I think it’s better to start with some sort of warm-up. A spankee might already be warmed up (like at a party) or it might be a role-play (like a school spanking with 6 total swats)… etc-etc… so there are exceptions. But generally it’s best to build things up and not make it too-too uncomfortable at the start.

That said though, unless it’s meant to be an erotic or sensual spanking… I like to start more in the moderate range of things. A spank with some ouch to it… something that says this is a spanking! Those butterflies and the anticipation needs to be paid off and a butt rub doesn’t quite do it. So, that first spank needs to have some zip to it.
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All the pictures in this week’s Roundtable Wrap-Up post come from Spanking Digital. Over 325 movies… all of which are available with membership… and new movies are added each week. Signing up is instant and discreet. Plenty of free clips are offered too.

We are off to Alabama this weekend. We’re going to see Suzy’s dad and step-mom on Friday… perhaps drive to the gulf for lunch. Then on Saturday we’re going to a football game with some friends… including Munchkin and her hubby. It looks like it will be a strictly ‘vanilla’ weekend, but that’s okay. There certainly hasn’t been any shortage of spanking around here lately… so a little break works just fine.

Not that we’d want to go too long without spanking. A weekend is long enough,

To ensure that there isn’t too long of a gap between spankings, some spankos use “Maintenance Spankings.” Back in January of 2007 we wrote a fictional story about just such a spanking… and we’re sharing it in the week’s FlashBack Friday. Enjoy and have a great weekend!

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Sunday evenings were a time for butterflies to play in Anita’s tummy. No matter how the previous week had gone, her husband Zack would be giving her a spanking near bedtime. This weekly ritual had started a little over a year ago. These ‘maintenance spankings’ were never missed. Time was always set aside, no matter the circumstances.

Zack liked the calming effect these spankings had on their relationship. He found Anita no longer tried to ‘brat’ her way across his lap. She tried her best to follow the simple, but important, rules they’d agreed to. This made Zack feel more confident in his role as a disciplinarian.

Anita loved the fresh start her weekly spanking gave her. She’d always awake Monday morning with a clean slate. Nothing between her and Zack felt unresolved or unsaid. This feeling of contentment with her relationship radiated across the rest of her life. She often noticed she was the only one smiling at work on Monday morning.

Zack and Anita both also enjoyed the intimate time their maintenance spanking ritual guaranteed. No matter how hectic the weekend got, it would close with them alone and together… talking and spanking, hugging and touching.

As Anita dried herself off from her shower, and put her nighty on, the circus of butterflies fluttered at full speed in her tummy. Walking out of the bathroom, she knew what was waiting…

Zack was sitting on the bed, his back resting against the large headboard. Clad only in his white boxer-shorts, he smiled at Anita and said, “come here darling.” Neatly arranged on the nightstand were three spanking implements. Zack always picked three from their large collection. Tonight it was the black leather paddle, a small flogger and a wicked little hairbrush.

The hairbrush is what caught Anita’s attention as she shuffled her wet feet across the bedroom carpet. She hated that little devil. Her bottom twinged just looking at it. Many a problem had been resolved with this seemingly innocent looking item.

Zack gently guided Anita over his outstretched legs. Her damp skin clung to her soft nighty as she settled into place. Peeling the fabric from her behind, Anita was bared for her spanking.

“Have you been a good girl this week?” Zack asked as he slowly rubbed her delicate skin.

Anita knew to be truthful. She’d ‘forgotten’ to mention a naughty deed she’d done once before, something that Zack couldn’t have known about. Only Zack did know. The resulting spanking was burned into her memory. It was better to just be honest.

“I have been a bad girl, sir” came the meek reply.

“I’m disappointed to hear that, missy. Tell me what naughty things you did.”

Zack started to rub faster and harder.

“I procrastinated about my share of the housework. I didn’t get the bathroom cleaned on time. I also forgot to use the shopping list, and ended up forgetting to buy dog food.”

“Is that so. What other naughty things did you do?“

“I was also a little bit of grump to you, because I was in a bad mood about my sister canceling her visit.”

“Anything else you need to tell me?“

“No, sir“

“Are you sure you’re not missing anything?“

“Yes, sir.”

“You didn’t lie to me this week?”

“No sir.”

“Did you remember to wear your seatbelt everytime this week?”

“Yes, sir. I was careful to be safe this week.”

“That’s good, my pet. You weren’t too naughty this week. You must get things done on time though. And you need to come to me when your feelings are hurt. I could have helped you feel better about you sister’s insensitivity. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir. I understand.”

“That’s good that you understand. To help you remember, and to remind you what will happen if you do something really naughty during the week… I am going to spank your bottom.”

Anita gulped, and her skin tensed as she felt Zack’s hand rise into the air.

Thwap-thwap-thwap, Zack’s palm rhythmically rained on Anita’s backside. The intensity slowly built, as Anita’s legs rapidly started to rise. As the ferocity of the swats raced to their feverish conclusion, Anita let out a squealing yelp.

Her rump warm to the touch, Zack paused and reached his stinging hand towards the nightstand. Anita’s moist eyes followed his every movement. This would tell her exactly how naughty she’d been during the week.

Zack knew he was being watched. His fingers lingered over the flogger, and then drifted onto the hairbrush. Anita felt herself gasp as Zack’s toyed with her tormentor.

Picking it up, Zack said, “Remember to be good this week, young lady“… before setting the hair brush back in its place, and grabbing the leather paddle.

Cool against her raw bottom, the reprieve did not last long for Anita.

The paddle cracked across her bottom with a firm and deliberate force. Stinging swats echoed through the room. In a flurry, and with three very hard spanks to end it… the maintenance spanking was over.

Zack applied soothing lotion to Anita’s sore behind, as he spoke calming and gentle words. Hugs and kisses would be next, then love-making… and a good week was off to a great start.

The First Spank

We often say that a lot more goes into a spanking than just the actual spanking. What happens before and after the spanking is important too and can be the difference between an amazing experience and a so-so one.

That said, the importance of the spanking itself can’t be understated. The anticipation, setting the atmosphere… the build-up… all of it leads to the spanking. If that doesn’t work, the rest doesn’t much matter. So the spanking definitely counts.

Which spank counts the most though? Probably has to be the very first one of the spanking. That’s the one that makes the build-up and butterflies a reality and it can set the tone for the rest of the spanking. Certainly when it comes to a discipline spanking there are those that get right down to business. No hint of a warm-up. That first spank makes it clear that this is not supposed to be, nor will it be a “fun” spanking.

Even with fun spankings that do have warm-ups… a slow build-up from softer to harder spanks… that first spank counts. It can be an extremely gentle slap that is almost more rubbing massage than spank all the way to a real attention getter, perhaps even something with more zip than other spanks will have. There is also the matter of what that first spank is given with. From a hand spank all the way to a wood paddle or other such ‘mean’ implement. Lots of options.

This week at the Roundtable we’d like to talk more about that first spank. As always, we welcome any and all to share. We’d love to hear from you so please don’t be shy.

Here are a few questions to get the discussion going.

How important is the first spank of a spanking when compared to other spanks? Do you think the first spank of a discipline spanking should be ‘full on’ or something less? What about other types of spankings… how do you usually prefer they start? Something really soft and gentle or something more?

We invite you to leave a comment below, or if you like you can Email us at ToddnSuzy@yahoo.com and we’ll post your thoughts in the Sunday Roundtable Wrap-up.

Also have the Quick Response Poll and we do invite you to share your vote there too.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

When it comes to the first spank of a (non-discipline) spanking, which do most often prefer? Really gentle spank/rub. Something on the softer side. A moderate spank. Some real zip and ouch to it. Don’t hold anything back. Current Results

The online spanking community is a wonderful thing. It allows spankos to talk with other spankos… to not be isolated or feel like they’re alone in their thoughts and desires. Before this community existed talking about spanking was a hit or miss thing. You’d get to know someone in the traditional vanilla way and you’d look for clues. Did they joke or talk about spanking… use spanko phrases… did they offer any hints at all.

At some point though, if you really wanted to know… you had to *ask*. Best bet was usually to throw out a somewhat vague and broad question about spanking and then see what sort of answer you got. If it was along the lines of, “NO WAY, are you crazy!!?!”… than you knew it was off the table and could pretty easily retreat from the subject. If it was closer to a “Oh my god, YES”… a more open dialogue could happen.

It wasn’t always the words that told you how to proceed either. Sometimes it was the enthusiasm behind them.

Like we said though, you don’t HAVE to do it that way anymore. There are plenty of ways to meet spankos online now, and know upfront that there is a shared mutual interest. That more old fashioned approach is still there though… as a memory for some of us, and as a realty for others.

Speaking of that old “Q and A” process, here is a clip from a site called CherryTV… which is an online site for women that covers human sexuality from the female perspective. They cover a wide range of topics, though don’t touch much on kink. This clip does talk about spanking though (starting at about the 2 minute mark… some “side by side” sex talk before that).

A few interesting things here. The first is how quickly the women in this discussion agree that YES, they like being spanked. The smiles and grinning glances at each other are fun to watch. And while the actual discussion focuses strictly on spanking during sex… the enthusiasm hints that at least a couple of these women has a spanko side just waiting to get out.

It was this sort of response… for a spanko guy talking to a seemingly vanilla girl… that would invite a much more open talk about spanking.

A good week here for the most part. We both did good with our food journals and stayed within daily calorie goals. Suzy also got all of her exercise in for the week. The spanking earned last week definitely had a positive impact. There were a couple of times she really didn’t want to get started… but she was properly motivated to not skip her workouts.

Once Suzy did get going, it was pretty easy and she did feel good once she was done. It’s that first step that is the toughest, and there spanking can be a big-big help.

As for Todd, he was forced to miss his final workout of the week thanks to a sore hip. Was too painful to even stretch. It is much-much better now though, and shouldn’t be an issue this coming week.

So, a solid effort here this week. We’re both getting back into rewards for good weeks too… as in a 30 minute massage. Feels good after all the exercise.

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Friends Update

Carye: Carye battled a case of pneumonia this week. She is feeling better and is now close to 100%. Do hope she gets totally past that this week.

On the diet front, being sick didn’t help with exercise… though it made keeping calorie totals low easy (too easy). The result was a down week at the scale. Feeling better now though, Carye shares with us that her appetite has returned… and she is worried about that. We do wish her luck!

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Jean: Jean is still dealing with stress both at home and work. Things she doesn’t control, but that doesn’t mean she wont worry about them. We know things will work out in the end… but while that is happening… she Jean needs to focus on the basic things like her diet and diabetic testing. She’s been doing a pretty good job too.

One issue did come up this week though… Jean *twice* texted while driving. A big time no-no. Totally unsafe… and Jean knows better. She’s promised it wont happen again… and that certainly needs to be the case to avoid an even longer “talk” than has already been earned. Overall though, it was a good week for Jean and we hope she keeps it up.
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Courtney: Courtney was out of the town to help with her grandfather’s surgery. What should have been routine was anything but… the lowlight being the TV on the wall falling on top of her grandfather while he was recovering. Crazy. He is okay though, and is now home resting (safe from falling TVs!).

Courtney was able to do a pretty good job on her diet too, which is good news. She has now lost 5 pounds since the end of the holiday season… so 2010 is off to a great start!

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N~ (from Living Domestic Discipline): N~ was down 1.0 pound this week and she feels real good about it. Certainly is a nice total. She’s largely back on track and doing well. There was one incident though that has earned her some trouble.

With her now being home more often, she has found snacking to be more of a challenge. Mid-week she ended up eating a bunch of fried walnuts (surprisingly high in calories)… under the theory that once they were all gone, the temptation would be gone. Uh… lol… yea… that is the kind of thing that leads to a sore bottom. Still a good week overall though!

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Iggy (from Perceptions From the Edge): Iggy didn’t get a chance to send in her update this week. We know though that she is working on maintaining her weight until the middle of next month. We’ll catch everyone up on how that’s going next week.

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Korey Johnson (from Spank Notes): Also didn’t hear from Korey this week… but we will get you her update next week too.

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Good luck to everyone in the coming week.

If you’re interested in the Spanking Diet, we’d like to invite you to check out the Yahoo Spanking Diet Group. It’s a great group. Over 200 members now… lively discussions with lots of encouragement and idea sharing. We’d love to have you!

All you need is a free Yahoo account that lists your ~adult age~ in your *public profile*.

Always feel fee to Email us at ToddnSuzy@yahoo.com too… we always enjoy talking with new like-minded friends.

We have heard a few rumors this week about Blogger getting ready to do a mass removal of adult themed blogs, including spanking related blogs. We’ve heard this before and it’s not happened. Still though, if you do have a Blogger blog it is ~always~ a good idea to back your blog up outside of Blogger. It is entirely possible to wake up one morning and find your entire blog GONE. It recently happened to Richard Windsor and it has certainly happened to others. So, protect yourself and your work.

Another thing you can do to protect your Blogger blog is to dump the navigation toolbar at the top of Blogger blogs… that’s the thing that allows readers to search key words, follow and so on. While some of those tools can be somewhat helpful, they are redundant and rarely used. Biggest of all though, that navigation toolbar allows readers to ~easily~ “Report Abuse” to Blogger.

While Blogger will tell you otherwise, our research leads us to strongly believe that Blogger uses reports of “abuse” as the basis for blogs they censor. Get enough “abuse” hits and your Blogger blog is slapped with a ‘warning page’… a larger number means your blog is made private… and even more means it is deleted entirely (in our opinion, this is what recently happened to Richard Windsor’s Spanking Universe Blogger blog).

This system has no human oversight either. It is all automated. Once Blogger has taken a step like deleting your blog, you can (in theory) get a human review. The process involved is extremely complex though and entirely frustrating. It’s also pointless. The Blogger Terms of Service is intentionally vague and quite easily can be used to justify removing a blog about spanking (despite Blogger’s claim that they allow “adult content”). So even if you go through all the steps, you’ll just find a human at the end of the line that stands by the automated decision to delete your blog (or force it to private status, etc).

There is no standard in how the “Report Abuse” button is used either. Anyone can click it for any reason.

It’s not something you need. Not that removing the option means your Blogger blog still can’t be removed. Blogger has ‘robots’ that crawl sites looking for violations and they can get you too (and the robots make mistakes all the time… but chances are you’re screwed if they nail you).

Dumping that toolbar is a good idea though. Increases your blog’s survival chances. It’s completely within the rules too. Blogger would prefer you not do it, but has no rule against it.

How do you delete the toolbar… it’s easy. You can go HERE and an exact step-by-step is offered, including an easy how-to video.