*Spanking and Feminism*
Virginia Woolf, a leader of the suffrage movement of the 1910′s… that ultimately won women the right to vote in 1920… wrote in her book ‘A Room of One’s Own’ that “men socially and psychically dominate women.” It would have been nearly impossible to argue against her point.
Over the last 100 or so years the feminist movement has attempted to win women an equal share
in society. The right to vote, reproductive rights, equality in the workplace and battling domestic violence have been major areas of focus. While there is still more to do, there has been a tremendous amount of success.
Yet seemingly in contrast to that success is the ’50 Shades of Grey’ phenomenon in which women look to be “dominated” by men… the exact thing Virginia Woolf and first wave feminists were battling against.
’50 Shades’ is a pretty tame book too, largely written for a “vanilla” audience. The BDSM/Kink/Spanko world can be far more aggressive… in a very real way… when it comes to women being dominated. But on the other hand, women in “the scene” tend be extremely similar to vanilla women politically. They want equal rights and an equal say in society.
So what happened? How did we go from a massive movement designed to stop men from dominating women to society filled with women fantasizing/seeking/finding men to dominate then? That’s the topic of this week’s discussion and as always we welcome any and all to share. Here are a few questions to get things started.
Do you consider yourself a feminist? Is it anti-feminism for a woman to seek out or otherwise support a BDSM/spanking relationship in which the woman is “hit” (spanked) or otherwise punished for her misdeeds by a man? How can one support female equality yet be okay with women being dominated sexually?
We invite you to leave a comment below, or if you like you can Email us at ToddnSuzy@yahoo.com and we’ll post your thoughts in the Sunday Roundtable Wrap-up.
Also have the Quick Response Poll and we do invite you to share your vote there too.
Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!
February 8th, 2013 - 4:56 am
I consider myself a feminist. I have held jobs all my life that are physically enduring and mostly geared for men. But…I choose to live a lifestyle in which I’m dominated, or rather held accountable for misdeeds by a man, that being Todd. I am also fully accountable to a woman, that being Suzy, in every way, shape, and form. Therefore, I think it depends on the level of domination and who is the one doing the dominating. It is “consensual” so in my opinion it is a choice and not a forced issue. Also, I feel the BDSM world and the spanko world have MUCH different levels of submission. My view is “Domination” in my world is merely love, guidance, and structure and that in no way affects my feminism. It makes my world complete…
February 8th, 2013 - 7:14 am
Exactly, Crimson. Feminism is, in its deepest roots, all about the right to CHOICE, and other opportunities. Frankly, so long as it is the woman’s (or the submissive’s, since the main rule–or so I am told–is that when push comes to shove, the sub calls the shots. The Dom may appear in control, but that control exists only within the boundaries and guidelines which were agreed upon and which the sub consented to. Within those boundaries, the Dom may be in charge, but if the Dom crosses the boundaries, then the sub had better have a safe word on hand, and be ready and willing to bloody well use it! Calling the cops on a Dom who takes liberties outside of what was consented to may seem a little excessive, but it SHOULD guarantee they never pull THAT stunt again!…OK, back to our regularly scheduled reply to post) choice, and all parties are consenting, I say go for it, and have fun! But stick to the principle of SSC….or don’t come whining to ME about having to suffer the consequences. (Safe, Sane, Consensual….but we all knew that, anyway)
February 8th, 2013 - 10:27 am
Actually, the ability for women to openly look for, find, and choose this lifestyle shows just how far feminism has come. It is only in very recent history that women have the social, political, religious, and societal rights to look for and partake in this lifestyle without fear of major reprisal.
I am a very independent woman. I have moved to and lived in 3 foreign countries on my own. My choice to answer to two people, one being a man, in no way takes away from my dignity, strength as a woman, belief or support of feminism. In my own life, I feel and have always felt a deep desire/need to answer to and be spanked, grounded, soaped, lectured, put in the corner…etc… when I make choices that are no good for me. While the vanilla world wouldn’t understand this, I really don’t care. As an adult educated liberated woman, it is my right to choose a lifestyle that works for me. My choice to be disciplined by two people who deeply care about me does not take anything away from who I am as a woman.
Also, I have a safe word and I believe as is true in all healthy kinky lifestyles, as the bottom I do have the last word…if I’m not comfortable and I don’t mean that “ouch my ass is on fire and I hate the taste of soap, really shouldn’t have mouthed off while being put in the corner” comfortable, but that real, “this isn’t working for me”…everything stops until we figure it out.
February 8th, 2013 - 11:51 am
This is a difficult subject because feminism is not what many people think it is. A truly “liberated” woman should feel free to get the spankings she needs for sexual satisfaction, but doctrinaire feminists cannot admit the basic fact that submission to a man is an important part of female sexual psychology because this contradicts the feminist assertion that gender is a mere “construct” of a patriarchal society.
Look again at the cartoon of the feminist which Todd has colored – yes, it’s intended humorously, but the inner conflict many women like this one feel is all too real and it is no joke, being in fact highly destructive. A woman indoctrinated into feminist dogma will have trouble dealing with her submissive desires, whether they take the form of spanking or merely of some of the ordinary “vanilla” fantasies of being “ravished” by a powerful man. Such women are tormented by continual doubts about the validity of their deepest sexual desires, and they always will be until they accept sexual submission as normal, healthy, and desirable, which in return requires them to reject much of what feminist theory has taught them.
It would take more space than we have here to delve into these questions more thoroughly, but perhaps we’ll see some full-length articles eventually.