DC Comics decided to give Lois Lane her own comic book in 1958… “Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane.” Notice that’s not “Girlfriend” but rather “Girl Friend.” DC didn’t want to pin Superman down to just one girl. Lana Lang made her first appearance in the new comic book series as Superman’s boyhood girlfriend and romantic rival to Lois Lane.
As if that wasn’t enough trouble for Lois Lane, DC also decided to change her personality. She went from being the aggressive, career-minded reporter that Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster had created in 1938… to a woman that’s singular focus in life was finding a husband. Superman was her obvious first choice and she didn’t have any qualms about trying to trick him down aisle. When that didn’t work, she was perfectly fine looking elsewhere. Superman’s father Jor-El… the devil himself… she wasn’t picky. She just wanted to be MARRIED!!
It was the 1950s and 60s though, and no one seemed to mind that Lois was obsessed with getting a man. Her fans loved her, most especially girls.
They did have a problem though. Lois basically turned into the Lucille Ball of the comic book world. Her schemes to marry Superman were constantly blowing up in her face… tripping Superman up in the process. Superman was the hero and he came first, even with Lois Lane fans. No way could they tolerate her “messing up” the Man of Steel.
The fans had a solution too, a pretty obvious one. They wanted Superman to give Lois Lane a “super-spanking”… something hard enough to teach her a lesson and make sitting difficult.
DC certainly had no problems with spanking. Several different comic books of the era had spankings in them. In fact, Superman is spanked as a boy… by a *spanking machine* no less. Could do a rather long post about Joe Shuster and spanking too.
So the fans request seemed reasonable. How did DC react? Well, let’s take a look at some actual letters sent to the editor of “Superman’s Girl Friend, Lois Lane”. The editor’s response is included in green and we’ve added a few relevant comics too. If you want to see the actual letters from the comic book… just click the pic to the right.
Dear Editor: I represent the “North Shore Superman Fan Club.” By a vote of 27 boys and 22 girls (for Superman spanking Lois Lane) against 2 girls (opposed to Lois Lane getting spanked) we want to protest against your answer to a request that Lois Lane get a super-spanking in No 21 of LOIS LANE comics. We like Lois, but she is an awful pest at times. So please have SUPERMAN teach her a much-needed lesson and give her a good hard spanking. Please do not refuse our request.
Danny Rining, Winnetka, Ill.
(Sorry, but SUPERMAN is a gentleman through and through and would never inflict bodily punishment on a lady, Lois in particular. However, we do agree with you that she needs to be taught a lesson of some sort. Why not wait for SUPER-MAN to use his ingenuity and mete out a punishment which fits her crime? — Ed.)
Dear Editor: A number of readers have requested that Louis Lane get a good spanking from SUPER-MAN because of the way she is always trying to pry into his private life and guess the secret of his identity. I agree. She should be treated like any spoiled child who raids the cookie jar too often.
Sharon Bush, Mt. Clemens Mich.
(If the Man of Steel ever spanked Lois, she’d go right through the time barrier from the force of the very first stroke. We agree with you, though, that Lois does get pretty impossible at times. We therefore suggest you await the publication of a future story, “The Punishment of Lois Lane”, to se how SUPERMAN teaches her a lesson she’ll never forget! — Ed.)
Dear Editor: Although I am a great fan of Lois Lane’s, I disagree with you for not having SUPERMAN teach her a lesson for her many impetuous tricks by giving her a spanking. You often state that SUPERMAN is a gentleman and would not hurt Lois. Well, my father is every inch a gentleman and he has spanked me several times for being far less mischievous Lois is. Even if SUPERMAN were to use all his ingenuity to punish Lois, it can never be as effective as a good sound spanking. Her problem of sitting down after the punishment can be solved with the use of a soft pillow under her. Please do not refuse my request, for I know many readers like myself would like to see the Man of Steel turn Louis over on his knee and give her the good, old-fashioned spanking she deserves!
Larraine Lertura, Bronx, N.Y.
(Your request that Lois Lane receive corporal punishment comes a bit too late. Lois was the victim of a super-spanking in the story, “Three Nights in the Fortress of Solitude,” which appeared in Lois Lane No.14. It was administered by one of Superman’s robots! — Ed.)
Dear Editor: Everybody keeps asking for a story in which Lois gets a super-spanking. You keep saving Lois from a well-deserved thrashing by saying SUPERMAN is a gentleman and would never hit a lady. Well, I KNOW he’s a gentleman. But what about a story in which SUPERMAN meets up with Red Kryptonite. The effect is that it makes him forget his manners and he gives Lois a super-spanking. Later, when he recovers and apologizes to Lois and she forgives him. So that way Lois will have received her punishment and no one can accuse SUPERMAN of not being a gentleman.
Betty Makohan, Pacoine, Calif.
(But how could we keep producing further Lois Lane stories when we’d be unable to show her sitting down for at least two months? — Ed.)
Dear Editor: Lois Lane is constantly, to put it bluntly, messing up things for SUPERMAN. I love Lois, but I think she needs to be taught a lesson she won’t forget for a while. The next time Lois fouls up SUPERMAN’S plans, why doesn’t he bend her over his knee and give her a super-spanking? I’m aware that Lois was paddled by a robot in “Three Nights in the Fortress of Solitude”, but why doesn’t SUPERMAN give her the real things (not harming her, of course) but hard enough so she’ll find it difficult to sit down for a time. I think that would give her time to think about mending her ways.
F. Twill, Falmouth, Mass.
(SUPERMAN is too much of a gentleman to strike a lady. However, he did give Lois a spanking when she was “Baby” Lois in a story we published a few years ago. — Ed.)
So the solution was Superman spanking Lois ~as a baby~… and Superman using “x-ray impulses” to spank Lois ~with a robot~ while he watches, then poking fun at her the next day about her sore bottom (making him a mean voyeur). Well, at least he’s still a gentleman!
Ah well, as crazy as Lois was back then Superman was probably better off not spanking her anyway. Not like she’d have given up her husband obsession no matter how hard or long she was spanked. Let the robot deal with her. Heck, let the robot marry her.
Now the modern Lois Lanes… they’ve got it going on. *Very* spank worthy. Doubt it will ever happen though. ’tis fun to think about though!