The spanking party season is getting ready to kick into full gear. Texas All-State has a party this coming weekend… SSNY, FMS, Crimson Moon, a new group in the San Francisco Bay Area, our own A.S.S. Spanking Party Group and several other groups also have events scheduled in the next month or two. It’s a busy time!

With that in mind, we thought we’d talk a little about “bratting” at spanking parties. For those that don’t know, bratting is when a spankee playfully does something that will earn a spanking. An example might be something like sticking a tongue out or “hiding” a paddle.

As simple as that sounds, it sure seems to get confusing. So, we thought we’d throw our Two Cents out there and share our thoughts, advice and opinions. Now, this is free and unsolicited… so you know what it’s worth! We have been to several spanking parties through the years though, so hopefully there will be a few nuggets of value here.

Keep in mind that this is ~only~ for a spanking party (or similar event). There are different rules for online, at home and so on.

1. It’s about the spanking ~ Bratting is a game with one goal… for spankee and spanker to get together for a spanking (and/or to continue a spanking). Like we said, it’s very-very simple! If spanking isn’t the focus, than something other than the bratting game is going on.

2. The players know they’re playing ~ Both spanker and spankee have to be aware that they are playing the bratting game. For those that know each other well, it’s pretty easy to tell. For those that don’t, it’s best to be sure. For a spanker that assumes they’re being bratted, offering some verbal play first is a good way to be sure… such as, “If you stick that tongue out again young lady, you’re going to get your bottom spanked.” That allows for immediate feedback. If she sticks her tongue out, well there you go… the game is on! If she doesn’t stick her tongue out again though, it’s best to leave it there.

For spankees, it can be a little tougher. Sometimes it can be obvious… like if a spanking is threatened. Other times, it’s far more subtle. If you’re getting ignored or the spanker’s body language is off… it probably means he’s not interested in playing the bratting game.

Best bet, if there is ANY doubt… just ask. It’s virtually impossible to offend someone at a spanking party by politely asking for some spanking play. If however you start bratting someone that isn’t aware or interested in the game… or you try to spank a brat that isn’t aware that they are bratting… than there is a very-very real possibility of upsetting someone. So, be sure you’re both playing the bratting game.

3. There are rules, and you must know them. ~ The bratting game definitely has rules, but we can’t tell you what they are. Sorry! The thing is, everyone has different rules. One brat might be totally fine with getting a hard bare bottom paddling for her bratting… while the next is only open to a light hand spanking over her jeans. Or… one spanker might be totally fine with getting flipped off by a brat… while the next might be genuinely offended.

You have to know your fellow spanko’s limits and tastes. If you don’t… aim well-well within the safe zone. An example… a couple of years ago we saw a spankee squirt a spanker with a water-gun. We could tell from where we were sitting that he wasn’t thrilled with it, but he went along with it and gave the offending brat a spanking. About halfway through the spanking he starts scolding her, “I don’t think you’re learning your lesson”… and he goes to pull her panties down. She immediately gets extremely defensive and says, “NO – I don’t do bare bottom in public.” He listened and finished the spanking… but it was a pretty uncomfortable scene.

In our opinion, they both made a mistake. The water-gun was outside of the spanker’s comfort level, and bare bottom play was well outside of the spankee’s comfort zone. Both errors could have been avoided had they known each other’s rules… or if they had played at milder levels.

4. Respect and common sense. ~ While similar to #3 above, the value of basic common sense can’t be overstated. The bratting game is fun… until someone or something gets hurt. A quick example… our good friend Richard Windsor (from House of Richard Windsor) is known in part for his cowboy hat. In fact, if a rank stranger asked us to point Richard out in a crowded room, we’d probably say… “he’s the dude over there with the cowboy hat.”

His hat isn’t cheap either. Rich spends good money… that he works hard for… to own a quality hat.

So given that… common sense says, ~leave Rich’s hat alone~. Respect sends the same message. Don’t risk doing anything that could damage it.

Same with implements, luggage, cars (lol), etc. If the bratting game is going to lead to actual damages, everyone better be on the same page. When in doubt, just ask. Had a friend smartly ask Rich, “what would you do if I grabbed your hat and ran” and Rich politely answered, “please don’t do that, my hat is a hard limit.” Zero stress thanks to good common sense.

5. The game has an end. ~ Like all games, bratting does indeed have an end. The cool thing is, both spanker and spankee win. They both get what they want… #1 on this list… a spanking! Thing is, sometimes the game continues even after the spanking is over, at which point you have to ask… when does it end? And if bratting doesn’t end, is it really a game at all… or is it maybe that someone is in fact an actual brat?

Now we’re not talking perfection here. This is all play and a little post-spanking teasing is fine. Part of the fun though is obviously ‘naughty girl gets spanked for her bratty ways’… but the other part is… ’spanking teaches bratty girl her lesson.’ That second part shouldn’t be skipped, most especially to the point of being totally and completely ignored.

We’ve seen that happen many-many times too. It’s become a pet peeve. An example… brat keeps sticking her tongue out, gets “warned” about it, keeps doing it and gets spanked. The moment her spanking is over, out comes the tongue again. Back over the knee she goes… a bit harder spanking this time. Again though, the moment it’s over… the tongue comes back out. Where does a spanker go with that? Since this is play, he can’t get too hard with the spanking. He also can’t continue spanking over and over for it. Not only does that get boring, but it is a party with other things to do. Not much he can do but shrug and ignore it.

Two main reasons we think this happens. The first is, the brat gets lost in the game and forgets that there is an ending. Hey, it’s fun and we can understand not wanting it to end. But another game can be played later. It’s going to be more fun too if there is an ending to it.

The other more common reason is, the spankee gets competitive with it. She went into with eyes wide open understanding how the game is played… but then once she’s actually playing… the idea of ‘being taught a lesson’ even in a playful setting doesn’t sit right. At that point it’s become something beyond bratting play.

No matter the reasons though… bratting should have an ending point that occurs after the spanking has been given.

6. Bratting = consent… except when it doesn’t. ~ We’ve focused on the brats quite a bit, mainly because they largely drive the bratting game. There are pitfalls for spankers too though, and this “bratting = consent” thing has to be near the top of the list. We’ve actually seen this rule written down at spanking parties too, and it’s a potentially uncomfortable situation.

To start with… as we’ve already mentioned… while bratting has rules, everyone has different rules. Another example from a party. We had a spankee friend roll her eyes at a top. The top immediately called her on it, and threatened a spanking. In *his* mind he was being bratted. In *her* mind though… as she later told us… she wasn’t bratting at all, but rather rolling her eyes at what she considered a stupid and rude comment. It was her “natural response.” Had that top decided he had consent to spank, that would have been a really uncomfortable situation.

7. The players that aren’t playing, aren’t playing. ~ Another place we’ve seen tops/spankers stumble is getting involved in a bratting game that they’ve not been ‘invited’ to play. In a party situation it’s common for a brat to do her bratting in eyesight of more than just her intended target. But, that doesn’t mean every top in the room is welcome to correct her.

Now there is usually nothing wrong with comments or pointing something out… basically narking on a brat. So long as that is done in moderation, that can be part of the fun. The bottom line though is, the bratting game is started by the brat… and she gets to pick the spanker (or spankers) she wants to play with. A top trying to elbow his way into the game is out of bounds.

Can recall a real “wtf” moment a couple of years ago. We were sitting around a table chatting with a 4 or 5 friends… getting ready to head back to the room for some spanking play. A spanker and spankee friend had been talking about playing and with the time getting near… she started to play the bratting game. We all realized what was going on… minus one guy that we really didn’t know (though it’s a party so we’re being friendly). As soon as the bratting started, this guy was all over it. “Someone needs a spanking… you’re being a naughty girl… you’re really asking for it” and then “I can see I’m going to have to spank you… I’m glad I brought my paddle.”

lol… our poor friend tried to be polite about it… “now, now – I didn’t say that to you”… but it wasn’t working. When we got up to go to the room, we had to be blunt and tell him he wasn’t invited to follow. Thing is, had he played it cool and not tried to butt in… he not only could have come back to the room… but he probably would have got to enjoy some spanking play too.

8. Communicate. ~ Well over 90% of the bratting game play we’ve done has gone off without a hitch and has been great fun. Bratting creates a reason for a playful spanking to occur. It’s really a form of role-play that allows for a tiny bit of a discipline feel to it… or at least the little buzz words and scenarios that spankos like so much. It works on many-many levels.

That we’ve largely focused on the less than 10% of ‘problems’ we’ve seen doesn’t detract from the value of the bratting game. No point in fixing what aint broke though… so that 90%+ gets ignored.

Another thing is, the vast majority of time that something hasn’t gone quite right… the issue hasn’t been caused by bad people. Almost everyone wants a spanking to work for their spanking partner. The problem usually is a good hearted person not understanding, misreading or making an honest mistake.

Open and honest… and kind… communication will instantly set a good hearted person straight. The example we gave with Rich’s hat in #4 is exactly what we’re talking about. So if things feel like they’re breaking down or headed in a place you don’t like… speak up!

9. Play with people you know. ~ The chances of the bratting game going wrong with someone you know well are miniscule. The less you know them, the greater the odds of an issue.

Parties are awesome for many-many reasons. The chance to meet new like-minded friends… especially at the larger events… is near the top of the list. We strongly suggested actually ~getting to know~ someone before a spanking though. And then start off slow… and hold off on playing the bratting game until you know the person and how they work. If you do that… again… the chances of something going wrong are tiny.

So, we’d say #9 here is the best piece of advice. If you do decide to play the bratting game with a newbie friend though… and we’ve done that ourselves… realize what you’re doing, and play on the extra careful side of caution.

We’ve left #10 blank… and invite you to share any insights or thoughts you might have.

And again, remember what you paid for our two cents!